Revolutions

I don't believe in New Years resolutions. I think they are overrated and hard to keep. I think they set us up for failure, and I don't like failure. But this year I need a change, a big change, a giant change. Not a resolution to eat less or save more or keep a perfect house. I don't want to make a promise I know deep inside I will never ever keep.

I'm tired of doing that to myself. In fact, I'm really tired of doing a lot of things to myself. I'm tired of feeling overwhelmed, unorganized, and out of sync. I'm tired of working so hard that I have nothing left in the tank for me, for my family. I'm tired of my own high standards and ideals. I'm tired of Facebook and phony friends I would never speak to if I saw them on the street. I'm tired of burring my flaws and pretending I'm on the brink of perfect. I'm tired of selling the real me out.

Truth is, I miss me. I miss reading and knitting and thrifting and sewing. I miss going for walks and sledding and running and golfing and skiing. I miss cooking and baking. I miss music and concerts and festivals and dancing in the living room. I miss writing and blogging and taking pictures. I miss Turbo and Nate and Rex and Lucy. And that scares me.

I am doing all of these things. I am baking and knitting and taking the pictures. I am spending time with my family and friends. But I'm not enjoying it. Instead, while I should be living I am consumed by what I have to do next. I'm worried about a clean house and a big bank account and being sick and paying bills and how the hell I am ever going to deal with work tomorrow.

Instead of being me I have become exactly what I feared most, I've become obsessed with making more and having more. Obsessed with work and accolades. Obsessed with nice things and cute outfits and cuter kids that do super cool things. I've exploited the things I love most about myself and used them make me sound better than I am. Somewhere in the shuffle of my life I let this new person take over. And I hate it.

I need a change. A big change. A giant change. No promises, no lists, no binders. No talking, no complaining, no planning. I just need to do it. I need to let go of the stuff that doesn't matter, that will never matter. I need to quit doing things I despise and get back to doing what I love. I need to turn the passion I have for being perfect into a passion for happiness. I need to learn to be okay with where I am and trust where I am going. I need to be present for my family, my life, my work.

I am frustrated and angry with the way things are. I am worried and afraid for the future if they continue this way. I don't need a resolution, I need a revolution. May the best me win.


 

Sweep the Leg

Just getting ready for some football...fantasy football.

For JP, with love.

I hate when I look at this and see that time has escaped me, even worse, I hate when I don't realize it and I get an email from a friend telling me she misses us! So, to Jenny and all of the rest of you...sorry we have gone three months without an update. Hope you enjoy this one! (And we miss you too...XOXO!)

In August we...

Went camping and hiking at Starved Rock State Park...

it was awesome, and is now our new fave family activity. 

Into the wild. 

Harry & Me. 

Photo bomb. 

Girls Only!

Poor Papa, alone with all three kids on a mini cliff.

Of course, Rex rolled down the side seconds later. 

Found these two hiding in a cave...

Lots of stairs on this hike...
156 steps just to get back up from the riverbank.

Harry was not a fan.

Perfect hide and seek spot. 

Bahahahahahaha!

Chillin at the campsite.

When you have no TV, you play Quiddich with your sister. 

Reason #63 why it is fun to have a teenager at home...

Nate told the little ones it is called Starved Rock because it starves you of the internet.

Turbo grilling the old fashioned way!

Heut Ist So Ein Schoner Tag!

Another Germanfest to remember! 

Well, not for me and Turbo, but thankfully there are photos (and videos) to help us fill in those blurry spots!

This year we dressed up to surprise Oma & Opa. (It worked!)

Guten Tag, Turbo. 

Takin' it easy. 

One unhappy German princess.

Rex looked awesome, but was not a fan of leiderhosen with the temp in the 90s.

All I wanted was one good family photo. 

Instead, I can make a flip book of 100 very amusing almosts. 

Practicing for my dream job...beer wench at Hofbrauhaus. 

 (If only I could meet their two biggest requirements.)

Dieter & Dagmar. Oh, if only our German I teacher could see us now!

Action shot!

Someone's upset his mug is empty.

This is why Patti is her favorite. 

Well played Ralph!

This gives me no hope for Rex & Lucy.  

Looks like Turbo may be a bit jealous of Harry. 

Polka party time!

Heut is so ein schoner tag! Lalalalala!

 Ein Prosit! Ein Prosit! Der Gemutlichkeit!

Practicing for Germanfest 2018 with shots of water. 

Still at it. 

Even Rex and Lucy can't resist a chance to polka.

Capturing the elusive perfect moment photo. 

#163 on the list of why I am awesome after several steins of beer.

Mothers, it's time to lock up your frauleins.

Leather pants. Believe it or not, they make everyone cooler. 

Go Rex Go!

Our little slugger is having a pretty good season with the Paw Sox!

Playin' the field.

Busted.

Rounding second. 

Making contact. (This one was a double!)

Circus Maximus

Our fave little man turned one last week with a huge bash under a big top! 

Ringmaster Max! 

Puddles the Clown & Luke!

All of the kids loved him...

except for Max.

The R-E-X.

Lucy waiting for her turn on the go carts. They are the hit of every party at Max's house. 

Lucy and Isabella enjoying a drink and some great conversation...just like their moms!

Birthday boy!

In the car minutes after we left. Love that she was still holding the balloons!